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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 28,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Crunchy numbers

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 84,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 4 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 95 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 185 posts. There were 239 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 62mb. That’s about 5 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was June 19th with 2 views. The most popular post that day was 166 Days “Slovenia 31 del Mundo”.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were en.wordpress.com, search.aol.com, 3cardmagictrick.wordpress.com, facebook.com, and 74.125.67.100.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for slovenia, sushi, drogba, chile, and dancing.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

166 Days “Slovenia 31 del Mundo” December 2009

2

Sushi 1 – 3 Asado August 2008
3 comments

3

156 Days “Côte d’Ivoire 16 del Mundo” January 2010
1 comment

4

Tricky Chile April 2009

5

184 Days “Like a Virgin” December 2009
5 comments

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I finally have found something to talk about as the 2018 and 2022 World Cup decisions have hit a raw nerve.  Back in the 1930′s most of the Europeans didn’t show up for the 1930 World Cup, just like most of the South Americans didn’t show up for the 1934 World Cup.

FIFA has tested my patience for the last time and the only way for a change is to remove FIFA. I urge as many countries as possible to boycott both the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cups. The time has come for action and a new Football Federation is created. Then it will be for the good of the game.

I certainly don’t want Uruguay/Argentina 2030 (100 Years) to spend all that money preparing only to be out voted by a bunch of highly corrupt people. That money can be better spent, just like Australia could have spent their 42 Million on something more constructive instead of a FIFA Diploma for their presentation.

The time has come for a change.

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Uruguay

It’s been a little over a week since we got back from South Africa. I feel I am calm enough to write this summary of South Africa 2010. I would like to start with a huge thank you to both Andres and Luis who made the trip a success and it was sensational to share our experience of watching Uruguay at a World Cup together. It was also great to meet Javier and travel together even though it meant I now had 3 bolsos to deal with. Javier brought the true Uruguayan to the table with chants, flags that took up a whole stand and castellano lessons thrown in. Fantastic to meet Alvaro “Recoba” and Enrique, both from Melbourne but we wont hold that against them.

Locos por Uruguay

Now for a huge thank you to the Uruguayan Squad including everyone from the coaching staff, delegates, cooks and media. If it wasn’t for all the Uruguayans in South Africa I don’t believe I would have lasted on the African continent.

The games that Uruguay played were amazing in many ways. The first game against France is where I learnt my first chant. ” Francia te vamos a cojer”

The next game against South Africa was incredible as we were surrounded by Bafana Bafana fans blowing on their vuvuzelas. Hearing the silence in the stadium after the third Uruguayan goal was bliss and I can still hear it now ssshhhhhh!!!!!

Then we played Mexico and the lesson there was “OOooooHHHhhhhhh Putos”. When Suarez scored the winner it was a highlight and I screamed that goal with passion, insults and the famous chant….. Putos!!!!!!

Uruguay vs Mexico

Uruguay first in Group A which meant we avoided Argentina and would play against the Korea Republic. Though avoiding Argentina did not please all Uruguayans!!!

The game against Korea Republic in the rain and being behind the goal where Suarez scored the winner was a magical night I will never forget it. Uruguay No Ma!!!!

Uruguay 2-1 Korea Republic

Then next was the game against Ghana and all of Africa. This game took everything out of me as it was a rollercoaster ride. Luckily we had visited the Cheaters in preparation for this game.

Uruguayans patting the Cheaters

The game against Holland was a strange game as I thought I was at a fancy dress party. It didn’t feel like a game of futbol but instead a visit to a cafe’ in Amsterdam. Forlan’s goal was a sensational experience with El Mono giving us hope but not enough to get through.

Drugs Anyone?

Then there was the third and fourth play off which we watched in 3D. Maybe Muslera should have watched the game with 3D glasses as he didn’t seem to see the jabulani ball very well. The chant I learnt for this game was: ” A este pulpo le tenemos que ganar, a este pulpo le tenemos que ganar”

3D Glasses in hand

Then there was all the other things that happened throughout the tournament. Like the prophetic discussion we had on whether handling the ball is allowed only to laugh after the Suarez incident happened weeks after. The code we used for all blacks, Chenque y Palito. The way we managed to get close to the Uruguayan squad. We hung out with Uruguay before and after the Mexico game.

Palito y Andres

Achieving one of my goals for South Africa, which was meeting and getting Ghiggia’s signature. It sure wasn’t easy catching him as he still moves fast for being in his 80′s.

Ghiggia's Signature

Ghiggia still moving fast

Then there are the sacrifices one must make when hanging around nacional supporters, but it’s the least I can do.

El Presidente'

Then there were all the extra games we went to see; Brazil vs Korea; Argentina vs Korea Republic; Australia vs Ghana and Australia vs Serbia.

Australia vs Ghana

Then there was the South African wild life:

Pato Loco

Wild Lions

Wild Birds

To finish this post with Diego Forlan who upon arriving in Cape Town we saw the following poster showing Forlan as the “Bomber”. Looks like South Africa knew what was going to happen. Diego Forlan, player of the tournament, scored the goal of the tournament and equalled the leading goal scorer in the World Cup. Gracias Diego y Gracias Uruguay. Gracias por todo and for a fantastic World Cup. It was a Dream come true which nearly finished with the World Cup in hand.

Forlan El Bomber

Missed it by that much

Gracias Uruguay Gracias

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Andres, El Loco y Luis

 

It’s time for a new World Champion as Spain will meet Holland in the World Cup Final. Interesting enough this could be the third World Cup Final that Holland lose if Spain are able to secure both the Euro and the World Cup. With reports that Spain were already bribing the referees before the World Cup started and the fact that it will be an English referee, it looks like a Spanish Dream will come true. 

It sounds good to me as there have been countries that have annoyed the hell out of me and one of them were the dutch. The dutch would have to be a bunch of drunk, drug taking idiots I have ever seen. They even beat the Mexicans in the category of wankers. The dutch are so busy trying to outdo each other with outfits and drinking that they forget about the actual game of futbol on hand. They are annoying and don’t seem to understand futbol as they were calling themselves World Champions. Laughing at my face and saying we have lost to the World Champions. Trying to explain to the dutch that they haven’t won anything yet and if we are going to use the words “World Champion” at this stage it would be that they have just beaten a 4 time World Champion and that’s it. 

It was interesting playing in another stadium where everyone was against Uruguay. The dutch were everywhere wearing their orange. The Africans were all against Uruguay because of the Suarez incident and because we knocked out Africa twice. If only the blacks here would understand that it was the dutch that came to this country and enslaved them. That  Uruguay was one of the first countries in the World to end slavery. Uruguay was the first country to have a black player in their team (Andrade) and many European countries protested in the 1924 Olympics of his inclusion. Many people had never seen a black person until they saw Andrade. 

I always had a soft spot for African teams in World Futbol, however I now have a completely different view due to my experience in South Africa. The Africans can support the country that put Mandela on Robben Island and implemented Apartied. I will be hoping that Spain finally win a World Cup as I am a fan of their coach and I have Spanish blood. I will never support any black or African team in my life as they would have to be one of the most ignorant people I have ever met. I can’t wait for the World Cup in Brazil as they are a true futbol country who understand the game. 

Another topic is the Suarez handball. If we were in Brazil it would be discussed but in a different way. Here in South Africa they are obsessed with it. In Africa has anyone ever watched or played futbol? I have played in games where a player has saved the ball with his hands to avoid a goal. It’s no big deal, it’s just like a player taking down a player in the penalty box as he’s about to score. Red card and a penalty, it’s so simple but everyone is crying. Get over it and move on, Gyan missed the penalty so go and ask him why he missed!!!!! Was it the pressure???? What happened Gyan?????? Was it the Jabulani??????? 

 

 

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We're on a Mission from God

Sometimes I feel I’m in the Blues Brothers, driving around South Africa with a mission. I sometimes hear in my head the Blues Brothers theme playing and feel “We’re on a Mission from God”. Not trying to upset the religious folk out there but I’m an atheist, thank God.    

 

 

Blues Brothers Speedometer

Yesterday was an amazing game that totally drained every bit of energy I had left. We had driven for 12 or 16 hours from Port Elizabeth and arrived the morning of the game. After waiting for McDonald’s to open at 6am, we proceeded to have breakfast. We then arrived at our accommodation and I think I fell asleep for 30 or 40 minutes. We got ready and headed off to watch Holland vs Brazil. We watched the first half only and then proceeded for an endless journey to the stadium. 

It started with a drive to the designated area to park and catch a bus. We parked the car and walked for 10 to 15 minutes to the bus. Caught the bus which seemed to take the scenic route around Jo’Berg. After what seemed like a 30 or 40 minute bus ride we got dropped off about a 40 minute walk from the stadium. We walked and walked to the stadium only to be walking further away from the stadium but finally arrived after the marathon journey. 

I knew it was going to be a tough game as everyone and his dog were instant Ghana fans. Everyone we spoke to said they felt sorry for us having to play against all of Africa. I guess they don’t understand that we have done all this before. During the qualifiers Uruguay played in hostile environments and are very experienced with these type of games. 

The noise coming from the stadium could never pass the regulatory frequencies that are allowed, as these vuvuzelas have no rhythm and are just a loud noise. I believe they were actually as much a problem for Ghana as they were for Uruguay. The Ghana fans were playing drums and had a nice rhythm going but were drowned out by the rhythmless South Africans. 

The stadium erupted everytime Ghana attacked and went mad when Ghana scored. They seemed to get a little scared after the Forlan goal as the stadium went totally quiet except for the Uruguayan fans. The Africans were complaining about everything, Suarez diving, the referee, the offsides, the freekicks but only if they were against Ghana. I got the feeling that a lot of the African fans didn’t know the rules and seemed confused with the missed penalty kick and then the penalty shootout. 

When El Loco stepped up to take the penalty kick to win the game, most around me did not realise that if El Loco scored it was the end of the game. After seeing El Loco take the penalty kick in the Copa America I knew he was going to do the same thing and I prayed that the Ghana Goalkeeper had not done his research. When El Loco scored the stadium went dead quiet and people around me did not understand what had happened. I explained to them that Africa is out of the World Cup, Ghana has lost the game and Uruguay are in the Semi Final. 

Save of the Tournament

Who said that the volleyball training wouldn’t pay off. A lot of people are comparing this to Maradona and Henry but I would like to remind everyone that the difference is that Suarez got caught. He got sent off and a penalty was awarded. Now if Ghana cannot score that penalty it’s not Uruguay’s fault. These things happen in futbol and you have to move on and for Africa move on out of the World Cup 2010. 

  

 

Golazo Forlan

Muslera Que Grande

Esta Loco

Grande Muslera y Suarez

Uruguay No Mas

Uruguay Que No Ni No

 Holanda te vamos a cojer, Holanda te vamos a cojer, te vamos a cojer, Holanda te vamos a cojer!!!!!!!!

 

Holanda te vamos a cojer

 

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FIFA has appointed an English referee for the game between Uruguay vs Ghana. This now adds the extra element I was already expecting. To win the World Cup not only do you need to play decent futbol but you also have to beat the establishment. You can see it clearly at the World Cup, all the preference are for teams like Brazil, Argentina and Germany.

From a Marketing point of view the dream FIFA final would not include Paraguay, Ghana or Uruguay. FIFA would hope for a Brazil vs Argentina, Brazil vs Spain or any variance with Germany in it. This isn’t a surprise for me as I expected this type of favouritism.

One thing is for sure, it’s going to take more than the referee to stop Uruguay reaching the Semi Final. Uruguay will be intense and will never give up. We have depth on the bench with players they don’t even expect. We can change the game from a defensive style to a double playmaker if both Nacho and Lodeiro play. We can play any formation with a strong midfield as both Eguren and Gargano have either not played or played very little.

We have a great coach who has found the tactic and players. We might end up winning in extra time or on penalties with ony 8 men but we will fight to the end. Uruguay is used to playing against the odds and the Africans will learn what it’s like to play in the qualifiers in South America. We have already been in every situation possible. We were even out of the World Cup at one stage  in Ecuador only to turn the game around and win with the last kick of the game.

Vamos Uruguay Vamos Carajo Vamos!!!!!!!

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Sienzuf Ready for Anything

I tend to see things with Uruguayan eyes and from what I have seen so far in South Africa it leaves a lot to be desired. The first topic I would like to discuss is the TV presenters and analysts covering the World Cup in South Africa. The pre show to Uruguay vs Korea Republic they had the two kits presented on two dummies. The Uruguayan kit was all light blue. They had no idea that Uruguay play with black shorts and socks. They call Mexico a South American country. Maybe the dummies should be hosting the show and the presenters can play the part of the dummies since they are already qualified. 

Then you have the expert analysts who are so unknown I have forgotten their names. The only name I remember is John Barnes giving his most biased English commentary he can find. Then you have the African commentators who are angry that the African teams are not taken seriously and are never favourites. I think its fine, make all the African teams favourites, but make them favourites to go back home at the Group Stage. 

We have started a tradition here, which is going to any vendor and asking them if they sell anything from Uruguay. The usual response is “Did Uruguay Qualify”? We have not been able to find anything from Uruguay except a miniature vuvuzela (which I’m always tempted to destroy but it’s not mine), a scarf I bought of a bouncer from a pub and a Flag that suddenly appeared before the Korea Republic game.  

Then you have the mess of no one knowing what the hell is going on. You ask for directions and that’s all you get “directions that go nowhere”. Yesterday we asked at the FIFA Fan Fest where the FIFA Ticketing centre was. We got directions, however the only problem with the directions was that they were not for the FIFA Ticketing Centre!!!! 

Trying to get into the stadiums has improved but our first attempt took 1 hour and a half to get through the first check point. Then we have the issue of not being able to park near the stadium and have to take a bus which on the way back takes an eternity. 

Some of the stadiums aren’t top quality and some have just been completed as you can still see the construction areas that have not been cleared. Grass has not been laid, footpaths not finished. The night games are being played at -1 degrees and you guessed it; “they only sell ice-cream????? I followed directions as I was asking for a nice hot coffee. They made me circle the stadium only to find out that no one is selling coffee, only ice cream. 

The news here are trying so hard to make it seem that everything is running so smoothly but things are far from being “The Greatest  World Cup Ever”. How different Brazil 2014 will be. 

Well I think I have complained enough for one day and I’m sure I will find more to complain about tomorrow. The hot water has just been fixed, I seem to have the internet still connected, the sun is out and it’s a beautiful 27 degrees, time to go for a walk along the beach and prepare for the game tonight. 

 

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Uruguay vs Korea Republic

Uruguay are one game away from a Semi Final appearance at the 2010 South African World Cup. The game that Uruguay needs to win is against Ghana, who is the only African team left in the first World Cup held on African Soil. 

An African committee has been established to encourage all Africans to support Ghana. The South Africans were supporting Korea Republic, which ended up being a home ground feeling for the Koreans. Now the Africans want everyone to support Ghana because Uruguay knocked South Africa out. 

What the South Africans don’t understand is that we actually helped them by beating Mexico in the last group game and they beat France but missed a host of goals which would have got them through to the next round. It was the South Africans lack of goals that eliminated them. It’s a matter of how you see the glass of water, it’s either half full or half empty. Now for the game against Ghana it will be a home ground for Ghana which actually suits the Uruguayans as we are small in numbers, the only large numbers we have is our Futbol history. 

When I look at the possible Quarter Finals that are left we have what I believe as the most accessible Quarter Final. The referees have been in the highlight with huge mistakes against England and Mexico and will always be a decisive element to the game. Lugano has expressed his concerns with the referees, Lugano explains that against Korea Republic the referee did not award a hand ball in the penalty box, an offside was given when Suarez was left one on one with the keeper even though he was on side and the Korean free kick which led to the goal he believes should not have been a free kick in the first place. 

We are now getting ready to watch Brazil vs Chile and have just watched Holland beat Slovakia 2-1. We have been without an internet connection for 24 hours as this is Africa. We had no hot water this morning, they ran out of garbage bags and toilet paper. When we asked for fresh towels they told us they will get some for us and ended up arriving the next day. Welcome to African time. This is all a great omen as Forlan, Suarez and Cavani will score against Ghana before they even kick off. 

 

  

 

Uruguay 2 -1 Korea Republic

Vamos Uruguay Carajo Vamos!!!!

 

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Uruguay vs Mexico

 The first thing I would like to say is that the only reason I’m in South Africa is to see Uruguay lift the World Cup and become World Champions for the 5th time. It’s easy to get lost in this place due to the lack of normality. This post might sound a bit angry and negative, but at the moment I could take on 5 Korean Kung Fu impersonators all at once. I feel like I’m in Australia sometimes, with regards to the coverage and commentary from the South Africans. 

This country is a Rugby Union country who tolerates soccer. The first time I saw something that met my expectations of what I expected in Africa was when we went to see Australia vs Ghana. The Africans from Ghana had rhythm and were colourful, full of dance with a couple of witch doctors on hand. 

The game against Mexico would be one of the most frustrating games I have ever attended. The Mexicans were calling the Uruguayans “putos” (poofters). Entering the stadium most of them were pissed (drunk) on tequila and calling us putos. I started losing my cool but I thought I would give them the benefit of the doubt and progress without incident as they were drunk. 

Once in the stadium I started to realise that the North American border with Mexico has been penetrated as the stadium was full of Mexicans with a sea of green. I contacted Interpol and suggested they wait outside the stadium and arrest the 99% who were not carrying a green card. 

Then the Mexicans started calling the Uruguayans “putos” every time Muslera (Uruguayan Goalkeeper) did a goal kick. I started losing my cool some more as these little uneducated toilet cleaning, grass cutting, dish cleaners were getting under my skin. I decided to have my own chant every time they called us putos, and it went something like this: “Mexicanos andate a la putisima madre que te recontra pario, hijos de putas la concha de tu madre, nunca ganaron nada pajeros de mierda”. There is no need to translate this section as English will only take the passion away from the words. 

There was an incident when a Mexican who wasn’t thinking clearly joined in on the chant of “putos” but he was situated within the proximity of the crazy Uruguayan fans. One of the fans went over and said to the Mexican, come on say it to my face. The Mexican said puto to the Uruguayans face and ended up on the floor with a possible face reconstruction. The brawl was so serious that they announced that the Mexicans had to leave the stadium first and we needed to wait 15 minutes after the game finished before the Uruguayans could leave the stadium. 

I quickly checked my iPhone ”Mexicans Running from a Stadium app” to calculate where the Mexicans would be in 15 minutes time running at their pace and being drunk so I could catch up with them and continue our discussions on sexual preferences and all things futbol. On leaving the stadium instead what I found were the Mexicans wanting to have photos taken with us (Uruguayans). I politely replied to each and every one of them that they could stick their camera up their arse. When they asked me why I would say something like that I had to explain to them that if they call me a poofter first and then want a photo taken, the only photo they will get is a xray of their face with every bone I can manage to break with their camera. 

I ended up catching a bus full of Mexicans and all they could talk about was how they are going to beat Argentina. Just like they said they would beat Uruguay and just like they say they will beat anyone, but instead Mexico achieve not winning anything. I managed to inform some Argentinians from the ultras of what the Mexicans do when the opposition takes a goal kick so that they can plan a response. I hope there is enough security for that game as there are more Argentinians here then Uruguayans and from what I have heard on the street, the advise is to keep clear of the ultras from Argentina as they will even steal your family name. 

With regards to Uruguay it’s been a sensational experience from seeing them play, to seeing them score and seeing them win. We have had the luck of seeing the Uruguayan team up close as we went to their hotel before the Mexico game only to find the players very relaxed and walking around. Drinking mate’ as the below picture with El Cacha.   

 

 

Cacha Tomando Mate'

  One of my goals for this trip was to try and meet Ghiggia the scorer of the second Maracanazo goal in the 1950 final which Uruguay beat Brazil 2-1. I met Ghiggia who signed my Uruguayan cap and complained about the pen I was using, he was very funny and I think he’s even shorter than me. I thanked him and let him know that it was an honour meeting him. I have a strong feeling about Africa and this could be a oman of things to come. 

The squad were staying in the National Park where Andres and his dad did a safari. I noticed a sign that was on the fence with regards to the animals. I looked for animals and didn’t see many. When I asked the African workers where the animals were like Lions and Elephants they advised me that since the Uruguayan squad arrived they all ran away with fear in their hearts. 

 

   Now we are staying around the block from the Uruguayan Hotel. We organised our Hotel in between seeing Uruguay arrive and the Uruguayan fans having a futbol game at the park across from the Uruguayan squad. You could see the players at their room windows placing flags and recording and watching the game. I found the game played between the Uruguayan fans much more entertaining than some of the games in this World Cup. We have met journalists, nacionals president (can’t think of his name?), TV presenters, players families.  

It’s nearly 1am and time to go to sleep and dream of a Uruguayan Victory over Korea Republic. I finally have an internet connection and should be able to post over the next few days, however this is Africa and anything can and will happen. 

Vamos Uruguay Carajo Vamos!!!!   

 

 

 

Naci Celeste